Breaking Barriers, Covid 19, Dealing With Mental Illness, featured content, Gender Discrimination In The WorkPlace, Life From A Feminist's Perspective

Blazing New Trails

Busy Being My Authentic Self

I am doing well because I am an optimist. I am doing well because I have the tools I need to keep myself grounded and to remain in the present. I am doing well because I have a good support system. I am doing well because I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I can take the well-placed, sucker punch. It dazed me. It confused me. It hurt me, but again, I rise. I forgive. I focus on the good as much as possible. Covid 19 isolation has certainly challenged me at times, as it has so many others. Honestly, I’m very lucky I live in a remote spot and I didn’t have to come into contact with many people. We’ve had a few restrictions lifted to include what is referred to as “bubbles.” I didn’t have to think twice about who my first “bubble” was going to be; Dakota and Presley. Looking forward to a visit from Presley today for the first time in a long time. FaceTime is great, but there is nothing that beats the real thing in person. This little girl helps keep me grounded and focusing on the small, simple things that typical four year old’s are interested in. She reminds me constantly about the tolerance and acceptance we need to focus on for women of colour in New Brunswick.

The Reason I Keep up the Fight for Equality

My Gloves Are Up

Never Underestimate me

I have had plenty of people underestimate me throughout my life. They underestimated me in many different areas in which I excel. Sometimes it takes longer for some to figure out than others. They are always inevitably surprised. I haven’t always won, but I have left my mark. I have left scars that are not easily hidden. My scars are also there for all to see. The difference is I don’t hide mine. I talk about them. It’s one of the best ways to heal from what is ailing my mind. There’s been a fire in my heart for a long time. It’s always burning, forcing me to constantly look for ways to improve myself and to look for ways that I can make a difference. When I give myself to something, I give my all. When I gave my very best to something and end up with a slap in the face, its time for a reality check. Though I will probably never know the “why’ for certain, I have my own suspicions. Disappointing actions from people who I thought very highly of, and expected better from, and was under the impression they were tolerant and supportive of me; evidently I was wrong. I swallowed the feeble excuses and well-rehearsed, explanations that I was fed. It took me a little longer to see things clearly in my most recent disappointment, because the Covid 19 crisis started to take it’s toll on my mental health along with many, many others. For me it was the unknown, and the lack of reassurance from those who were “in the know”, around me. I’m always going to be too much for some people. Their loss, not mine. The loss is burning in flames and the phoenix that emerges will have more fortitude, determination, and strength than before I got burned.

Full Speed Ahead

Lesson Learned

I took the hit I was given, and let it sink in. It hurt, there’s no denying it. It doesn’t anymore. Sometimes we need to gain a new perspective from those who are outside the circle and not involved. Sometimes new perspective is gained sitting in a room full of people you thought you could trust with your vulnerability, but, it turns out you couldn’t. That’s okay. It builds strength. It builds fortitude, It builds experience. I take these lessons with me with to each new endeavor that I undertake. For now, I’m spending the weekend with my granddaughter and I’m going to enjoy every single minute of it. It’s been so long. She brings everything into perspective. The gloves will be back on again on Monday. I never want a battle, but rest assured, I will never back down from one.

Presley

Love ya’ll! Stay well and stay safe. – Jen

Covid 19, Dealing With Mental Illness, featured content, Life From A Feminist's Perspective, Thoughts to Ponder, Women's Issues

A Disturbing reality for Maritimers

The Mental health of many Canadian is being pushed to the limits – Help is available – The Federal Gov’t has a Mental Health Help Line specifically related to the Covid 19 crisis.
Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com

Our Peace and Serenity is Being Disturbed by Unimaginable Violence

A body was found in a dumpster in downtown Moncton recently. An angry man went on an unimaginable killing spree in Nova Scotia, taking with him not just human lives, but innocence forever lost by those left behind who are grieving and trying to make sense of the senseless. This is all taking place during the Covid 19 pandemic crisis. It is going to make it that much harder on the friends and loved ones of the deceased, because they won’t be able to gather together to mourn and grieve. This is heartbreaking. I hope somehow they find the love and comfort they need at this time to get through what’s sure to be extremely trying times ahead. Our hearts are with our neighbours, Nova Scotia.

New Brunswick is Here For You

Staying Positive

It’s very hard to stay positive sometimes. Our lives are all different and we are all dealing with the stark reality that is Covid 19. I recently read an article on Facebook that stressed we are not all in the same boat. We are in different boats in the same storm because we can’t all get through this equally; not with the wealth disparity in New Brunswick. With every day that goes by that we don’t get to see our friends and loved ones, it gets that much more difficult, and the reality of this isolation sets in even harder. In light of recent traumatic events in the Maritimes, I’m sure it’s even much more difficult to focus on the positive. The thing is, where ever you are at emotionally in your head, that should determine what you need to do for you. If you are feeling overwhelmed with all the goings-on as of late, you might need to take a step back and refocus. As far as Covid 19 goes, we have reason to feel hopeful here in New Brunswick. A couple more weeks should have us a few more freedoms and fewer restrictions, as long as we keep doing what we need to do and STAY HOME.

Stay Home

Tie a knot and Hold On

I, like many others, have my good days and bad days during isolation. At times I feel so hopeful and though that feeling never leaves me, some days are harder to get through than others; not necessarily harder, but definitely longer. Some days I feel ambitious and accomplish many things, other days I feel the weight of being alone and laze about just passing the hours by, counting them down until a new day begins. Thankfully, new days bring new beginnings and I find my fire and my motivation to keep going. I bring myself back to taking small steps to get where I want to be, after isolation is over. I think this is very normal, I know I am not the only one who feels this way. We are going to have good days and bad days. Some people are having only bad days. My heart aches for those who are homeless or who do not have a good support system. I’d like to mention again, the Federal Government has set up a mental health help line directly related to Covid 19. If you should find yourself in a not-so-good-place, please reach out, to them or to someone else you can be safe with and whom you can trust. Just remember, if you are struggling, you are important, you matter, and please get help. Better days are coming. We are Canadians, we look out for one another.

Photo by Andre Furtado on Pexels.com

There is Light at the end of the Tunnel

One of the most difficult things for me is not being able to see my kids or my granddaughter. We make the best of it with FaceTime, but it leaves more of a longing than satisfaction. I’m proud of my kids, my family, and most New Brunswicker’s for doing what we have to do to protect our most vulnerable. I’m very impressed when I am out and about for essentials, at how careful and how obedient everyone is with respect to social distancing. It’s very comforting to know that our small communities are doing their best to take of not only themselves and their family, but their communities as well. We all know what a resilient bunch New Brunswicker’s are, we don’t need anyone to tell us that. We know. With a few more weeks of isolation, we should see restrictions lifted. Premier Higgs has indicated a date of May 1st, 2020. I commend Premier Higgs for being an effective leader during this very difficult time for all of us. Are things going perfectly? No. Do I expect things to run perfectly? No. There are going to be mistakes made, there are going to be glitches, there is likely going to be some trepidation and confusion, but we will be okay. We are always going to be okay. We have each other, and we have a Federal and a Provincial government that are doing all they can do to ease the burden for our people. Thank you!

We will soon be enjoying the activities we are used to. Keep holding on.

Worry Never Ends for Parents – Regardless of the age of the Child

We all have many worries, this is without a doubt hitting everyone we know pretty hard, Despite some rather negative things that happened to me recently, I still feel positive and I feel deep in my heart that things are going to work out. They always.do. My biggest worry now, is while my daughter is waiting for her lab to reopen at McGill, she is going to work in a Nursing Home in Montreal. I commend her for her compassion and her bravery, but as a mom, it’s going to make me worry just a little more. She’s smart and well-equipped with science, but the higher risk she’s going to be put under, will certainly weigh a little heavier on me in the near future.

A Scientist with a compassionate heart, ready to give.

Staying Home is Boring – Let’s face It

I know it as well as everyone else. Some days are better than others. It doesn’t matter how bored we get, or how much we miss our friends and loved ones, we need to remain vigilant for a little while longer. It’s so boring and there’s so little going on that I don’t have much to say, which is unusual for me. I just want to thank again all our first responders, our health professionals, and everyone out there working to make our lives seem semi-normal. We wouldn’t make it through this without your selfless giving and doing the right thing when called upon. We all owe you debts we will never be able to repay. Hang tight everyone. Stay home. Stay connected. Stay healthy. Stay well. – Love ya’ll Jen

Can’t wait to see a hairstylist!
Covid 19, Dealing With Mental Illness, featured content, Life From A Feminist's Perspective, Living Life On Your Own Terms, Living With Anxiety, Thoughts to Ponder, Women's Issues

7 Ways to stay ahead of Covid Depression

Get outside

Identify Your Support Systems

Dealing with the isolation of Covid life can get to the best of us. Many of us have legitimate worries and concerns that aren’t going to go away on their own. We have problems hanging over our heads, constant reminders that life still goes on, despite this new Covid reality. Our new normal is mentally taxing. It’s tough for the most positive person to stay positive all the time. It”s a mindset. It’s a way of thinking that directs your brain to look for the good, or the possibilities. The focus is always on moving forward, but enjoying each moment. These are some of the things I’ve been doing to help battle Covid depression.

My Sanctuary

1 Think outside the box – the one you are living in, and the one that’s in your head. Plain English? Get the F outside! Go for a walk, take your dog out; just get outside. Being outside can make you happier in under 30 minutes. It will help you sleep better, it can lower your blood pressure, and improve memory. It’s biggest advantage; it helps fight depression. It’s when I’m outside and listening to the birds and squirrels that I find myself smiling he most lately. I take my dog outside and throw him the ball. We spend a lot of time together. If you have a dog or a cat, you’re already ahead of the game.

Achilles and Presley
BFF’s for life

2 Cut negative people out of your life – this may sound harsh but it’s an essential step to regaining or retaining peace of mind. It doesn’t mean you don’t care for or love the individual you don’t make time for, it just means you love yourself more. Our own peace of mind right now is more important than ever.

It’s okay to say no and to create distance
Photo by Alin Popa on Pexels.com

3 Stay Connected – It seemed like just yesterday everyone was complaining about social medial and how we all spend too much time investing in it. Right now it is a crucial tool to connections with friends and loved ones. It’s not the same, but it’s the best we can do for now.

My “visits” with Presley Covid-style

4 Stay Informed – This is a crucial step. I’m not talking cruising YouTube for the latest conspiracy theory. I’m talking reading up and listening to what our experts are telling us to do. This is everything from staying home as much as possible, to using sanitizer, to social distancing when out and about. Respect this knowledge and these rules and we will persevere.

Stay informed by trusted sources.
Photo by ready made on Pexels.com

5 Be Grateful – What is brought to us we must deal with. This is life. A positive mind-set helps to look for opportunities for learning or for growth. Sometimes our best lessons have been the most painful. We all deal with trauma differently. We all deal with stress differently. We all deal with a crisis differently. It’s how we respond, to ourselves and to the world, that will make all the difference in how happy you can be.

Confident

6 Be Real – This almost seems counterproductive to trying to have a positive mind set. The thing is, it’s important to acknowledge and process what we are feeling. It doesn’t matter what it’s about. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be disappointed. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to feel betrayed. It’s okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling. I guarantee you that you are not alone. All of us struggle with pain and insecurity. Living your truth, and being your authentic self, will release you from the many expectations that have been thrust upon you, by yourself and by others.

Days after the lowest point in my life and I still found a reason to smile. I was outside by the river.

7 Stay busy – It’s a great time and great weather for spring cleaning. I Marie Kondo’d everything I possible could over the past couple weeks being at home. I’ve taken on some small, and not-so-small projects at home to keep me busy and occupied. Each task I accomplish gives me a sense of satisfaction and another thing to knock of the never ending to-do-list.The important thing is to keep cultivating our relationships, with our friends and with our loved ones. It’s our connections that keep us motivated and keep on holding on to hope for better times ahead.

Dakota and Presly – A single Dad’s life