A friend of mine sent me a message today about the steps to success; it’s filled with failures and littered with losses. As Winston Churchill said so eloquently, “success in not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” As usual, or so it seems, I’m once again butting heads with the patriarchy, in all it’s infinite power and self-righteous glory. Everywhere I turn in politics, in every party, I’m confronted by a sea of males who do not want to relinquish the overwhelming power they wield. They don’t want to talk about gender discrimination. It’s very frustrating when I’m communicating concerns about the entrenched sexism in a political institution, to a male, who was a friend, who has a position of power within that institution, and the response I get is, “I’m not going to apologize for being a man”, right off-the-bat. Instead of listening, this individual felt defensive (I wonder why?) and proceeded to offer the usual excuses. This individual is a member of the NB Masons, and he is steeped in patriarchal ideology. I’ve also been hit with, “well, it’s men that have put their names forward.” That’s great. Kudos tho those who care enough to selflessly offer up their life for service. What we need to ask ourselves, is why aren’t there more non-males and people of colour in the mix? Why? That is a question those who currently hold power need to ask of themselves. Why? What’s more concerning, is the number of men who hold positions of power in this institution. Former Executive Director: white male. Current Executive Director: white male. Former Interim Leader: white male. Current Interim Leader: white male. Treasurer: white male. Communications Director: white male. This is an institution that has embraced a culture of sexism and discrimination, whether intentional or unintentional. Good intentions or not, the end result is the same. People feel powerless. People feel alienated. People feel intimidated. People feel uncomfortable. People feel unseen. People feel unheard. Many of these individuals are females. Some are immigrants, some are non-binary, and some are ethnocultural or racial minorities. All are feeling like they are being shoved down. This is a problem. This is a problem that needs to be solved in a timely manner. This is a problem that requires acknowledgement. This is a problem that requires contrition. This is a problem that requires action. This is a problem that can be solved. Take heed:
The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.Barrack Obama 2006
I have been lucky enough to find a circle of people who are very supportive. We have common goals. We also have common traumas. We have been drawn together because of our adversity. We share the pain of our horrific experiences with each other. We then bring more people into the fold. They share their pain and struggles with us. We bring more people into the fold. They teach us ways to overcome. We share our triumphs and our failures. We bring more people into the fold. We have a formidable coalition with great depth and diversity. Despite our combined education and vast experience, we are still faced with hitting a giant brick wall; patriarchy. I want to be very clear about something; it is not only men who are sexist; there are females who have benefited from and will benefit from patriarchy, and who are complicit in the discrimination of, and have participated, whether deliberately or inadvertently, in human right’s violations against other females. This is especially soul-crushing.
There are tools with which we can manage some of these crucial issues. There are principles we can adhere to, in order to have a conscious awareness of what is going on around us. These are situations in which we need to apply critical thinking. We need to ask ourselves, who, what, when, where, why, and how, we have arrived at this juncture. If we are forward-thinking we will see progress. If we keep clinging to the past, we will continue to foster intolerance in our environment. None of us have arrived at a place of perfection. I am an individual who has made many mistakes over the course of my life. Each time I have stumbled, I have recovered. It takes self-reflection, empathy, and humility, to put yourself in another’s shoes. Sometimes what we see is a reflection of our own doubts and insecurities, and we don’t like what we see, but we need to see it. We need to acknowledge it so that we can grow. We can’t just simply move on. We can’t. As much as we want closure, we can’t just close our eyes to the injustices that are taking place within our own establishment. We can set the way forward into the future. We can be a beacon of hope, instead of a well-guarded castle. We can use our failures and missteps to propel ourselves forward. Believe and be brave, but don’t be silent.