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Surviving in a world of sharks

Women Haven’t Gained The Rights That We Have By Asking for them – We got them by taking them.

I could say this has been a long time coming for me. It has and it hasn’t. I was a feminist long before I knew I was one. I have my Dad to thank for that. My father, back in the early 70’s, seemed to be a man ahead of his time. Whether it was because I had two older brothers and he knew I had to be tough, or because he was educated and insightful, he had one consistant message for me when I was growing up; anything boys could do I could do better. So off I went helping him with outdoor choors like cleaning the yard, or getting wood ready for winter. I spent more time driving tractors, picking rocks up off the lawn, and feeding the animals than I ever did doing dishes or folding laundry. I have always expected to be treated equally to males. It’s been an assault to my senses when I haven’t been and it happens all too often. I feel like a dolphin swimming in an ocean of sharks. Dolphins have to be cunning and resourceful. They have to outsmart the predator that’s trying to outmaneuver them. So do women. We have to pull the rabbit out of the hat everyday and make the magic happen. Whether it’s being mindful of how we dress, or keeping track of how many drinks are deemed “appropriate”, to being expected to be responsible for a larger share of the workload than a male counterpart; all of us women are dodging sharks everyday. There’s a lesson to be learned from dolphins here ladies; they live in large groups. That’s the key to their very existence and it’s the key to ours. We support each other and stick together to ensure our survival.

Feminism is a vast, very broadly defined movement. Like any cause or ideology that we embrace, we may have different perspectives on how we conceptualize our approach to its application. From a sociological perspective, patriarchal societies are by design, meant to give men a position of dominance. It keeps women in a constant cycle of systematic oppression. This is evidenced by the fact that men still hold most of the power, wealth, and political representation throughout the world. The objective is to understand the origins of gender inequality, and break the bias of these stereotypical roles that we are thrust into, based on these preconceived notions and societal expectations.

I’m brining this up because my key objective is to normalize discussions of the ultimate goal of feminism; gender equality. Women need to dominate the discussions about the inequality we face. We are critical to the changes that need to be brought forth for us to collectively get ahead. We are each other’s strength and support system.

I believe it’s also important that men be a part of some of these discussions. We need them as allies. We need them to acknowledge their sometimes unwitting role in oppression, and be a supporting voice for the equality of women.

It may run against the grain for many men to even consider supporting the idea of feminism. Why would they want to challenge traditional roles that they believe is of a benefit to them? The very system that gives them all the power is also responsible for the additional pressures men feel to be the provider, to always have to be strong, to never show any weakness or emotion, and to always be in control. Men aren’t typically viewed as nurturers and care givers. Without financial resources, this puts them at a disadvantage when it comes to child custody issues.

The scales are very imbalanced. We need to even them out. That means raising women up.

Photo by Pixabay on

I am a strong believer in being open-minded and giving weight to all viable theories and sources of information. I acknowledge the few areas that men are the victims of their own patriarchal systems, but this doesn’t supersede the grossly disproportionate number of ways in which men are advantageous over women in every other single aspect of our lives. The reality is, everyone will benefit from having women reach their full potential and from finally getting to experience true equality.





3 thoughts on “Surviving in a world of sharks”

  1. Hi

    Thank you. I am happy to see your posting about women.It gives me a thoughtful thinking and am  happy for that.

    In reference to your posting, I totally agree and support what you said about women in society.

    As I went further I read and understand your pain about it.

    I know if all women are treated equally nothing like feminism and issues about feminist will occur.

    This feminist you see are agitating for GENDER EQUALITY.

    I keep saying this any where I go. For me my own point on this matter:

    PatrickStories Quotes

    I was brought up by a mother who inculcated in me a deep respect for women. I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy. I cannot call myself anything other than a person who believes strongly in justice and gender-rights for women everywhere. It would be arrogant of me to call myself a feminist, though I believe strongly in the cause of the emancipation of women in all societies that repress women and pursue the same practices of male domination.

    Thanks for giving me the opportunity to read such articles

    You welcome Ms Jen smith


    From PATRICK

    Peace ✌and Love ❤


    NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

    According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

    Here she says:

    “”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
    are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
    much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
    changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
    complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
    married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
    might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
    holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
    the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
    ‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
    I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
    whether married or not.


    Liked by 2 people

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